How can you eliminate social anxiety using NLP techniques and the tools from the world neuro-science and positive psychology?
Social anxiety is one of the most common anxieties people have in today’s world. Think of the new jobs, job interviews, parties, and other social gatherings. Many people often search for ways to manage anxiety and stress when in social settings. This video teaches an NLP technique that people can use to deal with social anxiety.
NLP Technique for Social Anxiety
What is an NLP technique for anxiety — more specifically social anxiety? Now, it’s important to understand that when you start thinking about any type of anxiety – but also social anxiety – and you start Googling that, what people tend to come across are articles about people who actually have an anxiety or social anxiety disorder, and that is really something different from what a lot of us experience.
A situation where you are meeting new people where you’re somehow, on some level, being evaluated. You may be judged. And so there could be a situation where there is a first impression. A wedding, a birthday party, maybe even a new job, or, even a job interview, this could be actually flagging, and then that becomes even with the anxiety for a job interview with itself.
And so you may actually be surprised if you’re an extrovert that a lot of introverts also, even for some very basic situations, like a birthday party where they don’t know a lot of people, that there is a level of social anxiety that may flag, and that is because an extrovert goes to a party and, and they kind of like to mingle with a lot of different people at that party and have like little mini conversations. An introvert actually – if they go to the party at all – what they’re actually more into is having a conversation with one or two people, and that goes a little bit deeper rather than navigating the whole room. And they’re also losing energy at the party rather than gaining. So that’s a whole thing. And then introverts deal with it in different ways, but that’s a whole other story.
So what is then an NLP technique that allows you to deal with that? Well, first, it requires you to understand how anxiety works a little bit inside the brain, okay? Any anxiety, but also social anxiety. And so what happens is that you actually float your awareness into the future. So you’re not even at the location yet where you’re meeting these people. You’re floating your awareness into “the you” at that moment. But instead of being like an optimist who’s going to control the situation like a boss and being a social butterfly and doing amazing, what you actually start imagining is what it will be like that you actually mess things up. You have no one to talk to or people don’t like you. You’re not fitting in. Or you’ve got to have this real big awkward thing happening with you standing there with no one to talk to, and everybody will see that you have no one to talk to. So, that’s a really awkward situation, and that causes you to step your mind into that place and then see what you would see, hear what you would hear, and feel what you would.
And so that becomes, then your brain experiences that moment as if it’s real. And whether you have an anxiety disorder or just an anxiety problem, the solution is actually the same, you know? So even someone with an anxiety disorder who technically shouldn’t be seeing a coach, but maybe your therapist. Although I think a lot of NLP coaches actually are more than capable to deal with a disorder. Depends on how much you know about it, because the disorder, the social anxiety disorder is also fixed by learning coping strategies and what to do in those situations and how to interact, how to create a better situation, how to interact. So NLP is actually ideal. In, you know, using the techniques of neurolinguistic programming, you get a sense of like, how do I deal with this social anxiety so that I actually don’t show up at the party with anxiety but show up in an entirely different way.
Now, there’s a few solutions that I can offer you, but one of them is this. If you have an understanding that you’re placing your mind inside the situation and experience as if it’s bad. So like a “what if nobody likes me?” type of situation, is to actually do what people do that experience, no anxiety. Yeah. So that’s one step to it. And that step is sort of like, what someone does is they actually sort of prevent themselves from stepping into that situation and imagine it’s bad. What they actually do is they actually dissociate. And that’s when they dissociate and sort of like, “well, let’s float my awareness until after that party is over.” Right? And imagine that I can look back at myself at that party, like a movie, seeing yourself at that party. That was yesterday, let’s say. And the thing is, is that the brain cannot process that information. So because one, you’re dissociated, so you’re observing yourself. And two, the party’s already over, so you’re looking back. So it’s kind of like placing your mind further into the future, dissociated non-emotion. You are looking back. And at that moment in time, you can’t control the situation anymore, if that makes sense.
So, it’s already over. It either went well or it didn’t go well, and so, but anyway, you don’t have to do that anymore. And what is it that you learn here while you didn’t die? That, that’s one bonus right there. But also you discover your life moves on. And because your brain can’t compute anxiety after the event and disassociate, it has a known emotion. The emotion flattens. And what that allows you to do is because you’re not experiencing the social anxiety, you actually drop it for a split second. You can actually “look, well, what can I do in preparation of, let’s say that birthday party and what could I do at the birthday party?” to actually create a better result.
Now, what can I do to sort of remedy this situation? And so here’s a few suggestions as to what you could do. You could show up at the party in a very powerful, positive state. Elsewhere on this YouTube channel or elsewhere on this feed, you will find a circle of excellence. It’s actually a great example of a woman who has a fear of dating or showing up for dates, which is kind of like an evaluation.
It’s kind of like a social anxiety. And so as I also explain how that should be executed so you could show up with that powerful, excellent, emotional state that actually, you know, takes care of all those smaller negative states where you may mess up, and you come in as your best, excellent self, right? That’s what you could do to prepare. You could also go, “well, maybe I can find out who’s actually and find out if my thoughts are actually true. Maybe actually I do know someone at that party.” You can also maybe alert someone, the person who invited you for instance, and say, ”Hey, I am nervous about what’s going to happen, can you help me out because I’m experiencing a little social anxiety and can you maybe, you know, help me out, maybe put me in touch with someone at the party – alert another person with social anxiety – and we can hang out together” or something like that. So that’s a little bit of a vulnerable place.
You could also sort of like, “well, what conversations could I hold over there? How can I build rapport using NLP? How can I, you know, utilize some tactics to connect into to other people?” And I think one of the best ways to connect to other people is actually being willing to step into their map of the world, and not from a place of judgment and evaluation, but from a place of interest and, wanting to make a general connection.
So there’s a whole, whole bunch of ways that you could prepare for this conversation, this situation that ordinarily would cause you social anxiety. And if you wanna top it up with another extra NLP technique for anxiety, you can also then after, step into the you at that location, seeing and hearing and feeling it actually going really well, or even looking around as to what you can control in that situation rather than what you cannot control. And, and that is sort of like leveraging the brain strategies of someone who’s actually super resilient, and also, someone who is qualified as an optimist or a positive thinker. They look at what they can control and that the situation is temporary. So that is an NLP technique for anxiety – social anxiety, more specifically.
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So that was an NLP technique for anxiety, for social anxiety. See you around.
Please note I make a small affiliate commission for the books mentioned below at no extra cost to you.
The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook: Proven, Step-by-Step Techniques for Overcoming Your Fear – Martin M. Antony, Ph.D.
The Anxiety First Aid Kit: Quick Tools for Extreme, Uncertain Times – Dr. Rick Hanson