Read: “Self-talk and the leap for change – part 1”
Honor the positive intention
It is important that in all coaching or NLP work you do, that the positive intention is honored. The positive intention needs to be met, and worked with. A client may not move towards change, if it means moving away from the positive intention. It is important, to help the client change AND meeting the positive intentions. Shifting positive intentions in conscious awareness, task and goal set around this can make all the difference. Or a simple awareness that the old situation, may actually meet the positive intention less, than the place where the client can change to. That would kick that negative self talk, and state of non-change right in the butt!
Can positive self-talk cause problems?
But can positive self talk of a client also cause problems? Sure it can! It is true that positive self talk creates better emotional states. Something extremely helpful when we are following our dreams, it makes us feel confident, empowered, ready for action! But the clients values need to be elicited, in order to know that the set goal moves towards meeting those values. In NLP and coaching we speak about the”ecology of the change.” Meaning that this change is really what we want, and we have considered how it impacts those we love around us, our home, our well being.
In the case of positive self talk as well, it is good to shift the positive intentions from the unconscious mind into the conscious mind. It allows the client to get a better awareness, that even though jumping may be OK, you do have to be strategic and get your ducks in a row!
Back to claire
Claire is a good example of getting those ducks in a row. She didn’t make the move, until she was recognized as a screenwriter, she knew she had the talent and the knowledge! She financially had a plan to work with this change. And she didn’t devote herself full time to writing, she had sources of income out of past projects, and did consulting work. She also diversified her new change, next to becoming a screenwriter to also be a producer. Both are two completely different sources of revenue, but part of the same industry. She has the know-how, she spent years building a network prior! The only thing that held her back in this case, was negative self talk! And that negative self talk may have served her well! Then there was a time frame, where it didn’t help her, and put her in state of non-change. Until she switched it into positive self talk, and went for it!
What could have happened if Claire 5 years before she had her ducks in a row, had positive self talk, and just jumped? The potential would have been, she had to start from scratch, with her talents not completely developed yet, no credibility, no network etc. It really depends on what the “jumping would be?” There is a big difference in jumping into developing your talents, start building a network, get set-up, get training and getting ready on all fronts. Versus, quit my job, I will just go write a script, communicate it to all my facebook friends and mingle “somewhere” with the right people…and surely it will be successful! It can! But with a client who values safety and security, it is important to shed some light on the blind spots! So they can be tackled. Get those ducks in a row! There may be more steps, involved.
Self-talk and the leap for change
Attracting a new life of doing what you are passionate about, is not just wanting it. It is about specific steps, strategies, additional learning, and an immense amount of action. It’s about go getting it! It’s not about building a pot, and a rainbow may hit it, so you get the gold. That’s the equivalent of writing a script, and merely putting it in the mail hoping someone will read it, let alone buy it. It is about building the pot, then create the rainbow yourself! Color by color!