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What is bad behavior really? | NLP training and coaching

What is bad behavior

What is bad behavior really? Even most coaches struggle to answer this question. Because the behavior is after all well….bad. Yet, somehow we can not stop ourselves from doing it. NLP training and coaching does give an entirely different perspective.

When we talk about bad behavior, it’s easy to put a negative connotation on certain kinds of human interactions.

What is bad behavior really?

Video transcript:

I was thinking the other day about positive intentions. A lot of times we can get angry at our own behavior or that of other people, and of course an imporant step is forgiveness, but I think another important piece is understanding. Instead of getting angry at somebody’s behavior, another option that you could choose is finding out what the positive intention is motivating that behavior as the presupposition of NLP says.

For instance, someone who wants to overeat on a lot of bad foods, what they’re maybe really after is feeling loved, or maybe they’re battling stress or fatigue or something like that. Someone who’s very dominating and unkind to other people may really be after something like control, or maybe they have some other motivation of protection or security or something like that. So, every behavior, including bad behavior, has a positive intention.

In order to start resolving your own poor behavior or finding forgiveness for someone else is really thinking about how I can meet that positive intention in some other way than beating myself or the other person up over it. When you meet that positive intention, the chances are much more likely that you’ll be able to solve that problem, or if somebody else is bugging you, to actually meet it in light.


Understanding the positive intention can help you to not get as upset at them when they do things that bother you. It can also help you to actually change your own actions because if you know what the positive intention is, then you can find a better way of achieving it that doesn’t involve the negative consequences. 


The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business – Charles Duhigg

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