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5 NLP & positive psychology tips to instantly improve your emails

January 28, 2023

Can we combine NLP and positive psychology to improve our emails?

Read the first 5 NLP tips to kickstart writing better professional emails here.

5 tips to write better emails using NLP

Last week we learned about:

1. We need to elicit an emotion in every email we write and be intentional about it.

2. First, step into the shoes of the reader(s) and write your email from this understanding.

3. Match someone else’s language.

4. Consider the positive intent.

5. Using words that create a full experience.

This had a very heavy NLP focus. Today I would like to insert some scientific knowledge from the world of positive psychology as well.

This week I have five more NLP and positive psychology tips for you.

NLP & positive psychology tips to instantly improve your emails

Tip #1:

Tip #1 to use NLP and positive psychology to instantly improve your emails are about using the right balance in negative and positive statements.

Check for a balance between having the right amount of positive emotions and statements versus:

– Negative emotions

– Favors, requests, requirements

– Negative feedback and critique

Though the exact number is scientifically debated, we need far more positive words than negative. So for every 1 negative emotion, favor, negative feedback, I would stick to 3 or more positives.

Now keep in mind that it does need to be genuine and meant. No one likes fake. You need to show a genuine interest in the other person and motivate, rather than tear down.

Tip #2

Ask questions and follow through! When I analyze communication, it is shocking how self-involved people are. When someone tells a story, the other person takes over, fails to understand what they mean, fails to engage. Sometimes when you study people, it is as if we are talking in space.

When you write an email, really read the last communication they gave you, or think about the conversation you last had. Mention these things, ask questions, follow through. Everyone wants to be heard, seen, and felt!

To dig your heels in, you could use typical NLP questions like:
Who specifically?
What specifically?
How specifically?
What would happen if we did….?
Compared to what or whom?
Etc.

Tip #3

Words make up only 7% of the meaning of our communication; the rest is body language and tonality. And this is exactly the problem with email communication.

Please carefully read the email you are replying to. Are you reading it based on the emotion you assume to be in it? Or are you making things up? You may want to verify if you are correct by asking questions or PICK UP THE PHONE!!! Or see someone in person.

You really can not afford to be wrong with this.

Never say negative words over email; you are not willing to state in person.

I repeat:
Never say negative words over email; you are not willing to state in person.

Tip #4

Understand what love scientifically is:
Two human beings connecting with positive emotions so that these emotions can broaden and build and catalyze.

This has been widely studied by Dr. Barbara Frederickson, a pioneer in the world of positive psychology, where it relates to positive emotions, most specifically love.

Keep in mind you can connect over email. Write it with a smile, visualizing the positive connection with the person. What if you considered your email to be an act of love and kindness? Maybe even briefly meditated or had a mindful minute.

Tip #5

When you experience a negative emotion over a negative communication, you received. Wait with answering. Can you wait until the next day? An hour? Properly reflect? And with this I mean not fanning the flame of your own negative emotion. But cool down!! Gain perspective.

I am sure you realize at this point that I could write 50 blog posts to use NLP to improve any communication, either by email, phone, or live conversation.