Are you struggling with dealing with rejection and wondering if NLP could help in any way?
Dealing with rejection can be extremely challenging, and can really start messing with her self-esteem and self-regard.
The original creators of NLP never deep-dived is more specific issues around negative emotions. Which means there is a lot of space for practitioners to create techniques of their own.
Here is my take.
How to deal with rejection using NLP
Transcript
How do you deal with rejection using NLP? First of all, let me go into what not to do. What not to do is take it personal. And then put your attention towards the anger of the assessor or the evaluator. Or put your anger and attention on yourself, how you failed. That is not the way to deal with rejection. It’s not, okay.
Your brain can only process five to nine pieces of information per second out of 11 million bits of information. So when you’re looking in that direction, you’re harming yourself. It’s like the second arrow in Buddhism on top of it, which means the rejection itself, and then you hurt yourself even more by the emotions of thinking about it and blaming yourself or blaming others. And there are no solutions here. Okay.
So one, what you need to consider is to kind of step out of yourself. We call that dissociation in NLP, it’s almost like you’re looking at yourself on a movie screen. And you see yourself going through this event of the interview, of the test, of whatever you needed to do that caused you to be rejected.
See the movie of the resume and all those different things. And I want you to consider, well, you got rejected. You were rejected, meaning somebody else got the slot, the job, the whatever. And what is it that they did that you didn’t? What was in their resume? What was in their factual presentation?
How did they talk during the moment, perform at that moment? Were they better? What is it that they did and did do that you didn’t? And you can sit there saying: “Yeah, that person that assessed me was stupid. ” Then you are apparently not smart enough to outsmart someone stupid.
So what is it that you need to change? You need to do? And the second thing is, what is it that you need to learn? How can you improve the quality of what you’re doing? How can you become better? So you can set some goals for that. So one is how can you, uh, do things in the same way as the people who did get the job, did get the slot. Two, how can you improve the quality of your work itself?
That’s my take on it. See you around, By the way, I’m in Mexico. That’s why I’m sweating my ass off right now. I’m in Mexico and we offer training here at least once a year. So come check that out. Or join us in Bali, Miami, Los Angeles, or many other places in the world.
Resources
Books
Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection – Jia Jiang
The Talent Code: Greatness isn’t born. It’s grown – Daniel Coyle
Videos
Learn how to ask for help using NLP
NLP Technique for Resilience & Negative Emotional Events
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