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NLP do I stay or do I go pattern

NLP pattern Do I stay or do I go

Do I stay or do I go? Is there an NLP pattern to answer this questions? Fair! We are facing decisions like this all the time. I developed this NLP Pattern for a client who had to make an important decision. Which can basically be summed up as: “Do I stay or do I go?”

Getting stuck

In NLP Training and my practice I find a lot of people who are getting stuck in a point of indecision: 1) do I go into a new situation of which I suspect it will make me happier, 2) do I make a choice to stay, where it is safe but also not quite ideal.

For any situation

This pattern can work in just about any situation getting a job as an NLP Practitioner, or stay in a corporate job. Do I leave this relationship or not? Do I start my own business or not? Do I move to another country or not? Do I want to have children or not?

The NLP Meta Programs (taught inside Master Practitioner) show us that there are two kinds of motivation: 1) towards motivation (by what you can attain), and 2) away motivation, what you wish to move away from.

Caution: it is OK to spend some time in the problem state (especially to make the unconscious conscious and get out the specific root cause), but not too much or you will make your job harder. As it is about solutions, possibilities and choice. And not about the problem. We don’t want to teach people how to have their problem better.

The NLP pattern

  1. Associate into what you see, hear, and feel (looking through your own eyes) if you were to stay until next month, next year, 5 years from now, the last day of your life etc. Inherently, keep replicating the same results.
  2. Do the same thing if you were to leave?
  3. What are the risks and could you mitigate them in any way? What are choices and solutions here?
  4. If that doesn’t provided the needed clarity, could you do a combination? Or have a game plan with a time frame? Or are there conditions on either side?
  5. Will you care about any problem in this context next month? Next year? 5 years from now? The last week of your life? Is it a real problem?
  6. Adapt to the importance of your problem.




Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist Paperback – Ramina Duvarsula, Ph.D


How to make long term decisions – NLP Pattern

If you have any questions about this “Do I stay or do I go” NLP pattern, please feel to ask any questions in the comment section below.

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