Video Transcript: The 3 Easiest Ways to Practice Rapport Using NLP
What are three easy ways to practice Rapport building using NLP? First, what’s Rapport building using NLP? Well, if you haven’t taken an NLP training, it’s to copy what somebody else is doing. There are different ways of doing that. You can copy them physically, copy the tonality or the speed of their voice, or the quality of their voice. You can copy their breathing, their word use, and their gestures. So, if you’re not NLP trained, focus on that. If you are NLP trained, you know how to match, mirror, and crossover mirror, and you have more fancy tools for Rapport building.
So, what does the Rapport building do? Why would you want to learn how to do it? It’s because when people are in Rapport, they trust you more, they become more agreeable, and the conversation becomes more flexible. You see Rapport being built all the time without NLP being used when people have this connection, this bond in conversation, and it can also be with a stranger. Then you see that they start copying each other. Babies, when you smile at them and they feel connected to you, will smile back at you.
What are three easy ways to practice this? Because what I often notice is that people learn NLP from a book or practitioner training, but they need to practice it in a real-world environment. And this is one of the easiest things you can practice. Think of your next live or Zoom-based meeting and pick one person in this meeting that you are going to match, mirror, and crossover mirror or copy very subtly, not suddenly, not being overly aggressive about it so that you don’t get caught doing it. You can even mention it to the person before the meeting, “Hey, I want you to pay attention if there’s something I do that makes you feel more connected.” I often ask permission to use NLP. But you know what? Rapport building is done in daily life so often that you might not even want to worry about doing everything permission-based.
The second way of easily practicing Rapport building is by actually not focusing on the easiest way of Rapport building, which is physically copying someone. I invite you to build Rapport differently. Start thinking about copying breathing or something like that. Or start copying the tonality and the speed or the quality of someone’s voice to bring you into the principle of a stretch where you are 30% uncomfortable or challenged and 70% comfortable, so you can still focus on your meeting.
And what’s the third easy way to build Rapport using NLP? It’s by copying someone who isn’t right in front of you. Maybe you ride the train; maybe you sit in coffee houses, or perhaps you are in locations like a beach. Over here, I’m in Venice Beach right now. We just finished training here. We’ll be back next year. Or join us in Bali, Amsterdam, or Mexico, also at the beach, by the way, a beautiful beach villa. And you pick that person a little bit further away, like that person behind me. If I turned around, could I match, mirror, or crossover mirror someone from a distance, and would they notice? And if you do it in a confined environment, I’ve noticed that when you’re in a Starbucks or something like that, people often feel it. They somehow feel a connection to you. The exception is when they’re too involved with their phone or whatever. But I noticed when people are reading or just sitting by themselves, the connection is easily built that way.
Now, you also, of course, need to break the Rapport. I have over 1,500 free resources online, teaching NLP techniques for different situations. But you can find those at GlobalNLP.com. You can also find out more about our training and the tons of products that we have. There are some free NLP products and visualizations on there, so you may want to check those out. See you around.