What determines if you will be happy or not? Nurture or nature very good question. Scientists always say both.
In this video lesson I will deep dive into the science of happiness, you do have more control than you think. In understanding what determines if you will be happy or not, it gives you a frame-work what the value is of improving yourself, despite poor genetics.
What determines if you will be happy or not?
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What truly determines if you are going to be happy or not? I’m getting a little annoyed with the coaches – the happiness and personal development experts – not giving things a little bit of nuance. So first, what determines if you are going to be happy or not?
Yes. Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky is right. Even her research is getting a little bit more nuanced these days. It’s 50% genetics that’s going to determine whether you’re going be happy or not. Now, remember that not all of your genetics are bad and depressed and negative. Forty percent relates to what you do with your brain. Whether that is NLP, you hire a coach, or you are a coach, or you learn the best personal development tools in the world.
Many of them are taught on the island where I’m now. I’m in Bali right now. I just finished the NLP training here; interested in training with us in Mexico, Bali, Amsterdam, at the beach in Venice beach or Miami? Just go to www.globalnlptraining.com and we can send you brochure and everything that happens every single day inside the training.
Anyway, yes, you can use NLP to get rid of anxiety and significant emotional events in your past, and you can fix a phobia. And you can set the goals in the best way. You can switch negative to positive emotions. You can really dig deep and change your life.
And I think that a lot of coaches want to focus on that 40%, right? They don’t know what to do with the remaining 10%, which is life. Life circumstance is a factor. So here they are, they kind of reason that: “Oh, we have 50% genetics. Well, I’m afraid of genetics. I’m scared to do anything with that, except say it doesn’t need to fire. There’s 40% control and 10% life circumstance.
Now, I can tell most coaches don’t really know how to navigate a person through the real-life circumstances that can bring them down. Think about things like shame, guilt, grief, not feeling good enough, having fears, or a phobia. That’s why I love NLP because it does deal with those things. It does deal with being bullied and being abused, and having trauma.
And it does deal with just getting bad cards handed. So I can legitimately say that an NLP Master Practitioner?ner and to a degree and NLP practitioner can really help anyone with that 10%. The 40% is what most coaches and personal development experts want to focus on. If you know how to do this, you’re likelier to become happy but nuance folks. Because I almost feel that it can become a little bit judgemental when you want to sell that for yourself.
First of all, check yourself because here’s the bottom line. What if it was your genetics that determined that you are going to be more likely to get anxiety or going to be depressed? And it was your genetics that forced you to be raised by parents with anxiety and depression, and maybe abuse and trauma. And your 10% of life was already a shit show when you were born.
And that shit show caused you to make teenage mistakes or maybe get an addiction or whatever it is. What if you were never raised in the space of personal development or you can’t afford it ? You can’t afford to be in this place of personal development. So pipe down, I want to say.
I’m here in one of the most amazing destinations in the world. I am near Ubud right now; across the street from me is a beautiful foundation called Bumi Sehat. And what Bumi Sehat? It takes pregnant Balinese women who cannot afford healthcare, who cannot afford checkups, who cannot afford vitamins, who will die if their baby is born in breach, and they help them for free.
So what if that was you? We take certain things for granted in the US, the Western world, and Europe. What if that was you? So rather than throwing all these statistics out there, how will you magically make everyone better and be judgemental when they don’t jump ?It is really hard to dance and sing if you’re grieving if you’re abused. So how do you then use your toolset? You step into that person’s map of the world respectfully you build rapport with them. And then you guide them out without judgment. Nobody wants to be judged. See you around.
The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want – Sonya Lyubomirsky, Ph.D
The Myths of Happiness: What Should Make You Happy, but Doesn’t, What Shouldn’t Make You Happy, but Does – Sonya Lyubomirsky, Ph.D