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8 Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem Quickly Using NLP


Self-esteem can be a tricky thing, and is frequently brought up when you are talking about NLP.

Psychology Today estimates that a whopping 85% of people worldwide lack self-esteem, clearly indicating that many could benefit from incorporating a little NLP into their lives.

Did you know that when Dove conducted questionnaires around the world asking women if they felt beautiful, only a measly 4% said yes?

It fascinates me when I inquire why someone is motivated to do an NLP training or hire an NLP coach; many mention presenting problems directly caused by self-esteem issues, yet they do not recognize them as such. Topics like confidence, anxiety, procrastination, fear of public speaking, and the failure to set boundaries are often directly linked to self-esteem

What is Self-Esteem – the Good, the Bad, & the Ugly

In the context of NLP, which I always hear expressed, low self-esteem is a condition where a person has a negative opinion about themselves and lacks confidence in their abilities. It often comes paired with limiting beliefs, negative self-talk, lack of self-love, imposter syndrome, feeling unloved, etc.

What Causes Low Self-Esteem?

Low self-esteem can have many causes, such as early childhood experiences, social media, poor performance in school, bullying, stressful life events, and significant emotional events in someone’s past (like trauma). Even personality type and genetics can play a role.

What is NLP, and Can It Help Increase Low Self-Esteem?

NLP is a set of tools and techniques developed from modeling people who excel in various aspects of life. In the context of self-esteem, these would be individuals with:

– High self-esteem.
– People who transitioned from having low self-esteem to high self-esteem.

Interestingly, in NLP training, you find people with high self-esteem who live in a world with judgments from those with low self-esteem and people who seek to increase their self-esteem using Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

What is NLP?

8 Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem Quickly Using NLP

1. The NLP Pie – Let The Body Lead

Three parts of the same pie influence our experience of the world:

These elements are all synergistic. For example, when you improve your thoughts, you also enhance your emotions. As a result, you stand a little differently and adopt a different facial expression.

NLP Technique:

Imagine seeing yourself in front of you with immensely high self-esteem. What would you look like? What body posture? What would you sound like? Then, step into this version of yourself, adopting the same body posture.

Take a deep breath. Walk and stand with power and strength, and you will immediately start noticing a difference.

2. Strike a Pose and NLP Reframing

Use the body posture from the previous NLP technique for self-esteem and maintain this stance for a few minutes. Simultaneously, reframe any negative thoughts you may have. Convert any negative context into something positive, use positive language, and shift the focus to the opportunities or the silver lining.

For example:

Statement: “I am surely going to fail in this project.”
Reframe: “I am going to learn a lot from this project through my successes and the feedback I get from any failures.”


3. Create a Self-Esteem Toolbox (NLP Anchor)

On your smartphone, create a special photo album for pictures that relate to things you are proud of, accomplishments, people that boost your self-esteem, and any happy memories. You could turn this into a little video.

This photo album can be your positive go-to place to instantly shift your mood. In NLP, we call this an “anchor,” where you intentionally create some sort of stimulus or trigger that puts you into a better emotional state.

4. Leverage the Second Perceptual Position of NLP

Think of a person who thinks the world of you, who believes in your abilities, your strength, and loves you greatly.

Float your awareness into the shoes of this person and see yourself from this perspective.

5. What Are Your Values?

This is typically taught in a quality NLP Master Practitioner training.

List five things that are important to you in relationships in general, including the one you have with yourself. With each word, keep asking yourself, “What does this connect into that is more important and bigger than that?” Eventually, you will arrive at whatever is “source” to you, which for some may be a concept like God, the universe, love, peace, etc.

When you look down, you will see many stepping stones in front of you that lead to the source. How can you leverage these qualities in your life at this moment and in the next three months to increase your self-esteem?

6. Setting a High Self-Esteem NLP Anchor

Think of a time in your life when you had high self-esteem, even for a moment! A moment where you achieved something great.

Float your awareness into yourself again in that moment, imagining what you saw, what you heard, and what you felt. Make this as real as possible. Increase the volume, make the image brighter, and amplify the feeling inside your body. The moment you have created a very strong version of this emotional state, clench your right fist while saying in your head “power and strength.” In your most confident inner voice.

Briefly count to five.

Test by clenching your right fist while saying to yourself “power and strength.” If you have successfully set the NLP anchor, you can access the emotional state much faster at any time.

7. Set a Goal to Increase Your Self-Esteem

Why not set a goal to increase your self-esteem by 10%? This will have such a positive effect on all areas of your life that the effects will be noticeable. You can use the NLP way of goal setting, but if you don’t know that, use another tool that allows you to focus on achieving this.

8. Practice NLP to Increase Your Self-Esteem Rather Than Mindlessly Scrolling Through Social Media

You become what you think about. If you often look at social media and assume everyone is more successful than you, then STOP engaging with social media. Social media and social media influencers are, internally, the poster children of low self-esteem. And they foolishly build their fame and self-proclaimed wealth and amazing lives BECAUSE of a lack of self-esteem. Shut your phone off, and go through this website full of NLP techniques, and even some free downloads. 

Remember, creating self-esteem is a process, as is learning NLP.

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